When I’m bored I sometimes look at Real Estate listings just for fun, I love looking at how people decorate etc.
I run across some doozies, and not in a good way at all, I really can’t believe some people list their homes for sale and not bother to clean up or stage them to look better.

Feast your eyes on these and you’ll know what I mean, they need a visit from that HGTV show about home staging.

Is this a crime scene? WTH is that on the wall? did the mauve chair bleed onto the wall?

Nice fan huh? and is that thing in the corner a computer monitor??

What caught my eye here is that it seems like the 2 chairs are posed so as to watch what’s going on in bed, do y’all get a voyeuristic vibe here too?

The floor...the walls...scary.

What is this poor chid’s name??  the letters are way too wonky, it took me a while to figure it out, maybe I’m just slow.

This one is just TOO MUCH, too much shit everywhere, Liberace meets Home Interior.

The waterbed is shag-adelic babeeeee!

OMG the fan!!!!! ha ha ha!!

I have a bunch of random things and a few minutes to post so bullets it is.

*Of course I have to go there, Michael Jackson died. He was an incredible artist but his life was a sad mess and I don’t care how many times people say “he was found innocent” it doesn’t make what he did to those kids right! O.J was declared innocent also…

*Farrah, her death made me really sad and seeing pictures and clips from earlier days was hard, she was so beautiful...I really hope that her son gets his life on track. She died way too young.

*I’m down 7 more lbs and I still don’t see a difference. Other people do but I get discouraged at times, got to work on those issues.

*Getting braces in a month or so…

*Joining a gym this week...and I am actually going to go and you know like work out and stuff.

*Cold front is here, it’s only going to be 95 today...^#@%!!!!!

*Picked a fight with JR for absolutely no reason last night...can we say new meds???

*Getting out of town this weekend, a much needed break.

*Work is sucking the life out of me these days, and it’s only going to get worse next month.

*I’m done bitching now.

JR came home last night and found me in a very rare position, I was flat on my back in bed in our dark bedroom laughing hysterically.
I was on the phone with Jules, my best friend from high school.
I am not a talk on the phone kind of girl, I’m an email and text girl but it was so much fun!
Jules and I lost touch about 9 years ago I guess, last year when she went back to work we started emailing and it was as if we’d never stopped being in touch.
It’s so nice to have someone who knew you back in the day, when life was simple and carefree and the only drama in your life was self-created.
Last night we were talking while looking at our classmates on Facebook, we cracked ourselves up asking “do I look THAT old too?” “How did I ever think he was hot??”.
I decided that we ARE going to our next reunion in 2010 (25th OMG!) I just have to convince her that it will be fun and fairly painless.

Memory lane is great place to visit, she says she has some pictures of us and is going to scan them so you just might get to see them.

We even laughed about the toughest thing we went through in our friendship. I dated J our freshman year for a few months and for most of high school I liked him off and on, then our JR. year he had the nerve to ask Jules out and she had the nerve to say yes, DRAMA!!
I acted like I didn’t care but I SO did!
I think they only lasted a couple of weeks, it all came to a great end when I was spending the night with Jules and we were talking about him and what a jerk he really was and started prank calling him, we were SO mature.

I need to bring my pal into the present world though, I laughed my ass off at her last night:

Me: Get online and look at Facebook right now!
Her: I can’t I have DIAL UP…
Me: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat??? OMG what?? *hysterical laughter*
Her: You suck!
Me: OMG Jules are you kidding me?
Her: Shut up, I’ll go get online and call you from my cell
Me: Wait! what kind of cell phone do you have?
Her: I don’t know...some kind of Motorola I got 3 years ago
Me: *rolling on the bed laughing*
Her: I’m hanging up!

She called me back 20 minutes later.
Me: Merry Christmas Jules!
Her: It takes a while to get online
Me: Hahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhh!
Me: Please tell me you don’t have AOL pleeeeease…
Her: I do, why? how did you know
Me: Stop! you’re going to make me lose bladder control!!!

Later on I was mentioning that someone we know needs to go on Intervention and she was lost.
She has regular TV! no satellite or cable.
I told her I could not be friends with someone who could not dish with me about reality shows, I demanded she get satellite and watch RHONJ marathons all weekend, call AT&T and get DSL and since her cell contract is up she has to get a Blackberry.
“Anything else you need me to do??” she asked
“You need to go to my hair stylist” I said
We laughed and she agreed to all the terms.
I love her, but my love has conditions and my loyalty has limits.

Dear Texas
I really really do love you 4 months out of 12
I love our Barbecue, our friendly people and all the good stuff.
Thanks for Dallas, Ft. Worth, San Antonio and the gorgeous Hill Country.
I don’t know what you were thinking when you gave us Houston, but I don’t hold it against you, much.
I wish you’d left it in Mexico, but I guess our map would not look as pretty.
What I don’t appreciate is the HEAT! why does it have to get 1 degree lower than hell’s temperature here?
Why do we have to scorch our asses even on cloth car seats?
SPF 70 can’t even begin to protect us from the Texas sun.
Must our pupils burn the minute we walk outside?
My birdbath turns into a bird sauna in April.
At 8am this morning it was 82 degrees for frijoles’ sake!
We’re hitting 100+ temps this week, and that’s just wrong.
I will love you again in late October Texas.
From now until Halloween I will curse you with every fiber of my sweaty body.
I will flip you the bird every day, as I peel my sweaty hair off of my neck.
I will wish a tornado flies up your butt for what you do to my hair and make-up.
Maybe we’ll reconcile in November, but until then kiss my crispy fried ass.

Sassy

As of next week I will have no home phone for the first time in my life! I am so excited to be saving that money now!
Any call we make is LD if it is outside our town so we’ve had a special LD calling plan which we pay out the butt for, we lowered the service as much as we could last year basically keeping the phone just for the DSL...but now, now we finally get rid of the damn phone line! AT&T finally has something new available. We will keep our DSL as is because the newer higher speeds are not available in BFE but it works fine for us.

The best part is we will be saving over $150 a month! you know what I can do with that? $19.99 a month plus tax and that’s it.
I don’t even care that our cell reception is zilch at home, anyone I want to hear from just texts me anyway and those come in just fine.
Oh the freedom of never hearing that phone ring!!! no more voice mail to never check, no more sales calls to not answer.

I feel like Laura Ingalls moving out of the Prairie and into the big city.  I may start calling JR Almanzo...no? maybe just during “the dark time” then? right Smizzo?

Have a great weekend everyone, and love on all the fathers in your lives!

What do you do during meetings?

I doodle to keep my hands busy so I don’t wrap them around my boss’ neck.